Prevod dela: VIDETI DLJE

Avtor izvirnika: Essentia

TO SEE FURTHER

The summer screams

from under your fingers.

Nobody's sound

can drown it out.

You lift your ring finger

high towards the sky

setting limits

to the grey borders of your daily routine.

 

You let me eat

from the pot

that has been growing on your back

for a long time.

You let me pick

the rosemary and read the poems,

breathing on the sunny side

of your shinbone.

 

I tremble like

a bare grass out in the sands.

I drink water from the eyes

that can see further

when I close them.

And guess what,

I will come to you.

Only when

you will close them too.

shadyyy

shadyyy

Poslano:
23. 06. 2014 ob 10:19

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Jupiter! Silvana Orel Kos

Poslano:
23. 06. 2014 ob 22:44

Pozdravljen, shadyyy, nekaj prevodnih mest za razmislek.) Lp, Jupiter!

TO SEE FURTHER

The summer screams

from under your fingers.

Nobody's sound

can drown it out. (v redu:)

You lift your ring finger

high towards the sky

setting limits

to THE grey ? borders (kakšne obrobe?) of dailiness. ? your  (razmisli:)

 

You let me eat

from ?a/the pot

that grew/has been growing  on your back

for a long time.

You let me read (kateri pomen?)

a rosemary and the poems, (zakaj A rosemary, THE poems?)

breathing on a the sunny side

of your tibia. shinbone.

 

I ?shiver shake/quiver like

a bare spear in midst of sand. grass out in the sands.

I drink water from the eyes

that can see further

when I close them.

And you know,  And guess what  (kako je mišljen »In veš« ...)

I shall will come to you. (shall – privzdignjeno)

Only when

you will close them too. /

When you have closed them too.

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shadyyy

Poslano:
25. 06. 2014 ob 17:19

Zdravo, hvala za popravke, na nekaterih mestih še razmišljam glede prevoda :)

lp

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shadyyy
Napisal/a: shadyyy

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  • 23. 06. 2014 ob 10:17
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