Pozdravljen, Tomaž, imam nekaj vprašanj in priporočil v zvezi z ubeseditvijo.

I am looking for a star

I am looking for a stream
in the shade of trees

through a rocky riverbed it is

Nekoliko nenavadna semantična povezava med "stream" in "riverbed".

licking the millennial journey.

Če zaznamovan besedni redi ni nujno potreben, bi svetovala, da prislovno določilo kraja "through a rocky riverbed" sledi "journey" (na zadnjem mestu v povedi.)

The? millenial journey: boljše, da namesto določnega člena uporabiš svojilni zaimek, ki ti interpretativno najbolj ustreza, npr. its/my ...

I am looking for a route.

A Moss-coveredcushioned

forest covers

the world of today.

I would like to toss my rags.
THE Skin of civilization,
it  hugs me and imprisons my soul

hugs me - glagol "hug" ima navadno pozitivno konotacijo. Si mislil mogoče: hold on to sb /cling (on)to sb

I would like to unlock your world.

Without all??, Without anything /with nothing on ?

naked,
as just newborn
I would like to
walk on the soft moss
and let my body
embrace the cold stream.

I would?  like to touch the
wind
and let the water
embrace me.
(I would? like) to lay  lie (down) on the moss and watch the sky.

Somewhere there's also ? my star ...

Lp, Jupiter!

hvala za predloge, vendar bom pustil tako kot je, papir prenese vse in kar sem hotel povedati je v teh besedah