POETIC TAROCK

XIX

Man on a mission

My mission is clear. Four dark horses to tame.

First one to tackle? Well, how about Blame?

Let's make it simple. I do things my way.

Just let the Tarot cards fall where they may.

My brother's misfortune? It wasn't my choice.

We did share a womb. Then, a room. And the toys.

I did everything a good brother would do.

No blame, then! An echo: »I have some scars, too.«

I broke her heart. It's the deepest of cuts.

Guilty as charged. With no ifs, ands or buts.

Did she forgive me? I hope. I don't know.

But I can forgive myself. Let that Blame go.

Let's tackle Resentment. All that was 'unfair'.

It's just my perspective. The glasses I wear.

A bottle that falls, well, no doubt it shall break.

Is gravity fair? Can you sense my mistake?

For gravity is. With no ifs, ands or buts.

You fall to the floor, you get up. Show some guts.

If somebody trips you, it's best to forgive.

Why bother with payback, when you can just leave?

I've asked the fairies and I've asked the elves:

»What about stuff that we do to ourselves?«

»Love yourself first. You'll have no one to blame.

Love does not judge. It accepts. Only aim

to accept yourself fully. Just as you are.

Inside you glow and you shine like a star.«

Thanks for the tip. I'll remember to shine.

For what is my essence, if not the divine?

Let's handle... Shh! We do not talk aloud

of the things that we feel most embarassed about.

What is embarassing, I could not tell

without the idea of heaven and hell.

An act of self-love. Purely sexual. Sin!

What we've been told just creeps under our skin.

Shame on you, Dutch! Yes, for touching yourself!

Where did it come from? I was around twelve

when I felt that voice for the very first time.

Some songs are just dirty and sell for a dime!

Same with the pictures. Baywatch may be fine,

but then there are slutty ones crossing the line!

The choice made by others. To be ashamed of:

first thrilling me softly and then... Cough, cough, cough.

I have a new rule. Let us not talk aloud

of the nonsense I once felt embarassed about.

Anger? Shit happens. What did I expect?

I cannot control everything. That's a fact!

Each time I say left and you choose to steer right,

of course, I get angry. You put up a fight.

»I am the driver. I drive as I choose.«

Not what I've expected. It's my mind to lose.

Forget expectations. Life happens, you know.

Resist and get angry or go with the flow.

I know what to choose now. A fool I have been...

A lot of life happened. A lot I have seen...

New deal. To be ridden: Acceptance and Pride.

Love and Forgiveness. With nothing to hide

and someone to love, one more demon to tame.

Joker, let's play our very last game.*

* Out Of Hell

Matjaž Lutarič - Lynx