POETIC TAROCK

XIV

Knight in whining armour

She is the one, I thought. You know, back then.

Dumped me. Then bar exam. I failed again.

Burned out in mid-twenties. A record, I bet.

Along came the jinn and the shrink and all that.

These pills make me feel I've been hit on the head

over and over. Once anger, now wrath!

With double the blame and quadruple the shame.

»How do you feel?« »On the top of my game!«

»No need for sarcasm.« Remark of my shrink.

Fake an orgasm instead. Did I blink?

It's better I didn't say that part out loud.

Gonna keep stuffing those pills in my mouth.

First time I quit, it was after a year.

Didn't take long for the jinn to appear.

Second time... After a couple of years.

Yes, but of course. That damn freak reappears.

Three years of pills. Then I needed a break.

Bar exam taken. A double mistake.

Failed it. Again. Overload of my brain.

Guess who was back? Overlord of my pain.

»Once, it's psychosis. Four times in a row,

schizoaffective disorder, you know.«

Disorder? You bet! With that part I agree.

»Schizo whatever. It's him versus me.«

»Well, it was only a voice in your head.«

He took my whole body, you silly old twat.

Instead, I murmured: »A voice? Well, okay.«

I'll just say whatever gets me through the day.

Okay? That's exactly what doc needs to hear.

»Keep taking your meds. I'll see you in a year.«

I hate the damn pills. Still, I take them. Wee me.

I've wasted six years. Still feel shaken. Wee me.

I do have a job. Not the one I deserve.

A girlfriend, perhaps? Well, that one hit a nerve.

Twice, I've been given the mitten. Wee me.

Old trunk with poems unwritten. Wee me.

Feel like a victim, and that's what you'll be.

What my damn shrink should have said! Yep, wee me.

I dreamed of a crow that was pecking my head.

Now I remember! I thought I was dead...

It isn't a solitaire journey... Create.

I am with you all the way... Better late

than never, I guess. Well worth the wait.

Now that I've found it, I'll just keep the faith.*

*Keep The Faith

Matjaž Lutarič - Lynx