Predlagam prestopno rimo in v vsaki kitici zamenjaš 2. in tretji verz.

CLIMB THE LADDER

Climb the ladder, climb the tree,

Leave your sorrow and pain behind,

climb from the bottom of the sea.

steady your heart, clear your mind.

We are here to hold your hand,

to help you find a steady ground,

when you are standing on the sand,

where the voice of hope is more than sound.

Don't give up, extend your hand,

we are here, you're not alone.

When life is hard, it's not the end.

don't stand still, you're not a stone.

Where rainbows shine through rain and sun,

I look at you and see a brother.

A million hearts beat as one,

we are here to help each other.

Be prepared to give your hand,

watch the stars and the shining moon,

be the ground where the hopeless stand.

we are here to meet you soon.

Milan Ž. - Jošt Š. 

Pozdravljen Milan

Morda ne razumem komentarja, saj je rima v celotni pesmi pretopna (a b a b).

Si morda mislil zaporedno rimo (a a b b)? 

Nekatere kitice bi bile dobre tudi z zaporedno rimo, nekatere pa bi bilo potrebno predelati. Morda kombinacija prestopne in zaporedne rime?

Hvala za konstruktivno kritiko,

Lep pozdrav, B.

??? V tvoji originalni je aabb, jaz pa sem pesem v komentarju postavil v abab.

Milan Ž. - Jošt Š.

Seveda, sem včasih prehiter s komentarji, hehe. Hvala